I found Jesus.

I found Jesus.

Now, I'm high off him. And weed.

Awhile ago, I took a night trip to the beach in Santa Cruz with a childhood friend of mine, Angie.
It was super awesome, a really brisk and cold night, and it was perfect for what we were doing. We took a bunch of pictures and drew shit with light, including Pac Man eating a ghost.
Anyway, I was using my static-proof flashlighty keychain doober to look at the sand on the beach, and I behold... Jesus.
I found him.
Ont he back of this little piece of paper, it has instructions for doing 3 hail marys.
However, the part that will actually "save" you is ripped of and forever gone to me. So I've found Jesus but can't be saved?

WHAT
DOES
THIS
MEAN?!?

Anyway, back to that later. After we went to santa cruz and got back him, it was about 5am, so we stopped in a Dennys. I remember talking about Jesus in Dennys, so I had the little piece of paper with me. I don't know where it went after that.

Fast forward, About week passed and I've just finished locking my front door to get to my car so I can go to work. I cut across the lawn, and I see a square of paper in the grass.
It's Jesus.

I've found him twice.
What is all of this?!?
Seriously, It's absurd.


I know people who would find this and think it was a sign from God. Big G god.
I don't know what to think.

Occam's razor would dictate that its just a piece of paper.
Someone left it on the beach, I picked it up because I thought it was funny, put it in my pocket and went to Denny's. Then it most likely fell out of my pocket, where I later noticed it on the lawn.

It seems egotistical of me to think that God's divine hand came down and placed this paper in places I would find it because he cares if I would convert or not.

After all, he's God. I think if he did exist, he would know how my mind works because he created me. He knows what tools he gave me to experience the world with, and how I experience it. He'd know that I, personally, need a little more proof than maybe some other people. Something that wasn't dropped by someone and then dropped by me later.
I don't have enough proof. I can't take the blind leap of faith.

Why should my salvation should hinge on the fact that I am willing to overlook logic?
I try to implement logic into everything I contemplate. And I believe whatever makes the most sense to me, because what makes sense to me just makes sense. It would be stupid to believe in senseless things.

It rather reminds me of the Bable Fish paradox in Hitch Hiker's Guide:

Now it is such a bizarrely improbably coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful [the Babel fish] could have evolved by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to
prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am
nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It
could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your
own arguments, you don't. QED"
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of
that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

-- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (book one of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy series), p 50

So let's overlook that it is a logical fallacy to assume that the Babel fish is indeed "a dead giveaway" for the existence of God. If God gives obvious hints, assuming that proof denies faith and faith is required for God to exist, then he denies proof of himself. Paper Jesus can not be proof, because otherwise there would be no god... He can't exist with proof.

Because Paper Jesus isn't proof, that means I am still on the fence about the whole god thing.

Even if I were sold on this idea that God was communicating to me through this piece of paper... And just to specify, this is the Catholic God, because of the Hail Marys on the back. It is very specific. Even if I were sold on it- I don't think my life would change much. I try to be good to people, I want to be a good person. Not because I feel that I will be rewarded if I'm good, but because this world really is a much better place if you try to be nice. It boils down to empathy: It sucks when someone is mean to you, so don't be mean to others.

I'll continue to live my life without needing to be told how to be a good person.

I will go with my gut, I will exercise respect, empathy, and connection with others who deserve it.

I will cut anyone out of my life who makes my world shittier, because life is too short to be around people who drain you.

I won't hate anyone who does not deserve it, and will instead slowly back away and gracefully remove them from my life.

I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. My will is good, my intentions are good, and my heart is in the right place.

If God doesn't like it, then it's out of my hands anyway.

My actions would be the same even if I subscribed to his ideas.

No Regrets...

This is all *know* we have, enjoy it while it lasts.