So, secret time:
You know all of those people you hero woship?
They are normal people...they have flaws
it's hard to swallow when youve looked up to them and aspired to them your entire life
but they are just as flawed as you are
and their existence is just as relevant/important as yours.
I came across this article, in which someone is warning you not to meet your heros. They say that it's always disappointing.
maybe the fault isnt with the hero for being "disappointing" maybe you have too high expectations for fellow human beings.
love your heros because they are flawed
accept them
befriend them.
It will improve your life.
If they aren't someone who will allow you to befriend them, they they are not deserving of your admiration.
Mostly, they will are busy within their own life and will not be interested in friendship. Whatever. You interaction may be a passing, shallow "Hey, I'm a fan"/"Oh thats great, thank you" conversation. Or, it may turn into a friendship, or a disappointment. Any way it turns out, you have potential for self-examination.
Or, go the "safe" route: choose dead heros, who you can never meet but safely idealize and live vicariously though their works.
Your perception of people is often filtered through your own desires and values. They are mirrors, and the things you see you like are really just aspects of yourself. Doubly so for he things you see that you hate in people.
You most likely like these heros because you see traits in them that you wish you had.
Develop those traits in yourself. Cultivate them. If you don't believe you can ever be like that, pretend. Fake it till you make it.
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." Vonnegut, Mother Night
There was a poster in the previous article I linked who said:
"When people show you who they are..believe them!So, I take people at face value until you show me otherwise. At that time, I adjust my thinking."
I think this is some very sound advice.
Just to let you know, This is how your heros view fans:
"Fans are clingy, complaining dipshits who will never ever be grateful for any concession you make. The moment you shut out their shrill, tremulous voices, the happier you will be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation tee-shirt?"
—Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, Zero Punctuation
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
—Bill Cosby
Fuck that.
Don't be a fan. Don't be a heroworshipper.
Do you remember that episode of ST:TNG where some little kid heroworshipped Data? That episode is called Hero worship. That is some goddamn bullshit and that kid is a little dipshit. It's DATA for fucks sake. This is how you are when you worship your heros. You are as stupid as this little dumbass kid who thinks Data is his hero. Hero worshipping sucks.
Again: Don't be a hero worshiper.
Be a friend. See the humanity in people you like, and embrace it. Reflect on yourself by examining the traits that you have a strong reaction (negative or positive) to in other people.
I think the old pearl of "If You Meet The Buddha On The Road, Kill Him" could be applied here...
None of this is literal. While on the road of your life, on your path to enlightenment and happiness, you happen to meet someone who you think has attained that... Don't worship them. Don't remove yourself from your path. Don't look up to them. Become your own Buddah. Be your own hero.
Being your own Buddah doesn't only mean that. It also means that you can not comprehend enlightenment until you are there. So any predetermined idea you have now of what it is to be in that state will make it harder to actually achieve it.
Become the kind of person who you would idelize.
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